loushirolls:

The juniors today got letters from first graders because their prom is Friday telling them not to drink and drive and stuff and this one guy in my AP Bio class got one that said “dont do cokine intil your 21” 

found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

impalathief:

butts-are-wonderful:

laughfloor:

where’s the fucking rent

“Yes, hello, I’m from the FBI. I would like to ask you some questions about your daughter’s death.”

“But I already talked to the FBI.”

"i know. i just have a few more questions to ask you"

iflybikes:

Tiny baby python got confused about what sort of mouse to catch.

DO NOT EVER ARRANGE TO MEET SOMEONE IRL WHO IS FROM FLORIDA

rnaiden:

they could be a gator

snorlaxatives:

shufflesavwidit:

snorlaxatives:

cigarettes are soooo nasty

LOL, howabout no

you put up a compelling argument

nerdjpg:

nerdjpg:

whats the coolest answer to a multiple choice question?

B)

Pros of dating me: I can cosplay your OTP with you.
straight white boy problem #87631
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